Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Not too bad for a crazy lady

I had a follow-up appointment with Dr. N yesterday regarding my PPD. I really, truly, love that man. He's the first male OB/GYN that didn't leave me questioning exactly what creepy predilections guided them into the practice in the first place. And he actually reads my chart before he opens the door.

Anyway, he said something that I hadn't noticed before, or at least during the time that I've been on my good friend Prozac. He said that I seemed significantly better. Hmmm. Interesting. I guess that I really hadn't stopped to take stock of that lately. I'm not as mood swingy lately, and the feelings of being completely overwhelmed have diminished. Sometimes the anxiety rears its ugly head, and that is the one thing that I wish I had under better control. That overwhelming uneasiness that I can't find a way to clear from my system. I still feel that way when there is a lot to do and I can't seem to find the time or space to do it. It's something that has been around for a while (pre-Son) so it may or may not be related to the depression issue. I get all of this nervous energy and I just want to cry and pace all at the same time. During the worst of the depression, I would be nursing Son and burst into tears-I would be so scared about all of the bad things that could happen to him, the what ifs, the unknown. I would be at the point of hyperventilating. I would only feel worse when Son would look up at me and look scared. Nice mom, hunh?

So, we have decided to start weaning me down and see how it goes. He wrote me the prescription for the lower dosage for 8 weeks, and we'll re-evaluate when I go back in for my (YUCK) annual in October. After having internals right before I had Son (Dr. N. is soooo lucky he still has teeth), the regular exam should be a piece of cake...right?

In the end, I left feeling pretty darn good about everything, even though the scale told me that the giant Snickers for breakfast over the past months was NOT a good idea. For some reason, I didn't feel that bad about it. Not that I wasn't kicking myself for letting the loss that I had after I had Son be significantly diminished, but rather that it wasn't the end of the world. I'm still lighter than I was before I got pregnant, and now I just need to take some steps to re-introduce some sanity.

Overall, not a bad visit. I really hope that I am ready to get off of this stuff and move on to something far more getting back on my Met and giving Son a sibling. Now there's a project I can get into.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006


After all of my grousing about Husband, I went and just reinforced the whole spoiling issue. I went in to get my watch battery replaced, and ended up buying this. Husband had a ring made for me that had both of our birthstones, along with Son's, channel set into a gold band. He really does try to be a good dad-and does a pretty good job despite what he had as a role model. I just hope he likes it. There goes another chunk of the profit-sharing check.

It was the only men's ring that I could find with a stone other than a diamond that didn't look real gaudy and over-done. It's nice and understated. The other neat-o thing is that these are natural sapphires, not created. I tend to be a bit of a purist when it comes to my gemstones. (By the way, Sapphire is September's birthstone). I'm going to give it to him on Son's birthday next Tuesday. It's off being sized right now. Even though Husband is over six feet, he has pretty small hands, so the standard size 10 just wouldn't work.

If he doesn't like it, I have three months to return it. If that ends up being the case, I guess he'll get to spoil himself.

Sunday, August 27, 2006


Husband has become spoiled. And, I have to say, I think that it is my own damn fault. What is to follow is part vent, part pity-party, part "what about me?" I've created this monster, and now I am dearly paying for it.

I haven't had a weekend day to myself in a long time. Now, yes, I've gone and done things during Son's naps, but I'm still "on call." I just can't even begin to wind down when I have to haul the monitor with me. I get a little resentful because Husband rarely, if ever, pulls duty. Yet, I allow it. I figure that for the most part, his week tends to be more stressful than mine, so I cut him some slack. This weekend, however, I had hoped it would be different.

I was supposed to go to a spa party on Friday night to hook up with my best friend (whom I haven't seen since, oh, March) and just do something that was fun and not in any way, shape, or form related to parenthood. Friend called me on Friday morning to let me that while she was still going to go, but that she had commitments early on Saturday morning and wouldn't be staying too long. Since we weren't going to get a whole lot of time together, and it was quite a drive, I decided not to go. It didn't help that Husband had to stay late that night because it was busy at work. He had called before I even left for work that morning saying that he would be late. He suggested that I drive up to his work, drop off Son, and he could take him home and I could go to the party. Without a map this may sound a little off, but it really was a good idea logistically. In the end, it would have only screwed up Son's schedule, and there were no guarantees that I would even get to the party at a decent time. That, coupled with Friend not being able to stay very long, just made it a non-starter.

Husband had felt so bad about the whole deal that I thought he would go out of his way to give me some time this weekend. Just "me" time. Somehow all of that went out the window. First, he goes into work on Saturday morning. Then, he calls and tells me that he and a friend were going to go out on the boat that afternoon. His friend had had a rough week, and he thought it would be a nice thing to do. What can I say? No? Husband had already made promises to go. So, Husband comes home, finishes up replacing the floor in the boat, his friend shows up, and they leave. They didn't get home until almost 6:00. Husband then spent the next couple of hours goofing around with the neighbors and chatting. Great for him, and I know that he needs that type of interaction too. However, where did that leave me?

It left me with a child who only took one nap ALL day on Saturday, during which I attempted to sort clothes and get at least one load of laundry in. I also loaded up the dishwasher and did the weekly hunt for the sippy cups that Son has launched all over the dining room. Combine that with taking out garbage and organizing the recycling, and oh, the fun! Oh, and to top it off, Son would start to howl at the top of his lungs if I had even the audacity to try to go to the bathroom by myself.

Sunday wasn't whole lot better. Husband continued his boat project (replacing all of the rotted out wood, etc.) and ran to Home Depot. Had a ball. I bet he even felt like he got something done. What did I do? Dishes. Folded laundry. OK, and watched a little HGTV while I was at it. Husband finally came back in around 2:00. I got in the shower, fed Son, and told him I would be back after I went to a couple of stores. I go and spend my profit-sharing check (at least a good chunk of it) in less than 45 minutes, and then embark to Target to pick up prescriptions, etc. On my way wandering through the aisles, I check my cell phone. SEVEN missed calls. All from Husband. The calamity, you ask? Son is crying and won't stop. It's now around 6:30ish and Husband is apparently mad at me for not being able to give him the magic cure to make the howling stop. GRRRR.

I finish up at Target, but, and I hate to admit this, I take my sweet time. Now, I know that it probably wasn't a nice thing to do to Son, since he wasn't having a very good time with Husband. However, my guilt was tinged with just a bit of evil glint in the eye. Darn it, it's time that he (meaning Husband) learns how to handle this without taking it as a personal affront, and Son learns that Daddy can do the job too. So often, and I don't think that I am the only one that does this, it is just easier on our nerves to just take over and "rescue" the likes of Husband when things head south. Husband is perfectly happy with his role as the rough-houser, kiss them on the top of the head before he leaves role. He's not so great at handling the day to day stuff. Although, in his defense, he does changes diapers. Sometimes.

I finally get home, and I'm greeted by a tear-streaked little boy, and, I kid you not, a pouting husband. Pouting. Because an eleven month old didn't respond to him like he wanted him to. That said eleven-month old stopped sniffling as soon as I came in. He's put out.

Part of it is that he is frustrated that he can't seem to control these crying jags that Son has. Let's see. Son once again took a late morning nap, so wasn't up to an afternoon nap. I could've pushed the issue, but I didn't . It was almost 7:00 by the time I got home. Had Husband thought about, oh gee, FEEDING the child? NO. (Insert animation of looking at him in utter disbelief, and wanting to pull hair out.) Son was shortly, and very happily, in his highchair inhaling his turkey and yams, followed with a peach chaser. Husband then looks all downtrodden, doing the "I'm the worst dad on the planet" routine, and feeling sorry for himself. ARGH!!!!!!! It's simple problem solving. Really. And it pretty much took the wind completely out of my sails.

This whole episode shows that we have some issues to address. They area as follows:
  • Husband needs to be more involved in how a routine day goes. Just because he's not a big fan of structure doesn't mean that our near-toddler isn't.
  • Husband needs to figure out that there are times when his needs come dead last. Period. I asked him if he had tried to get down on the floor and distract Son by playing with him. "But it hurts my hips and my feet fall asleep." Tough. Try having over nine pounds of baby sitting squarely on your bladder at the end of August. Sympathy quotient=0.
  • I HAVE to stop feeling guilty for getting some time away. In the end, it only hurts me (and creates a need to vent and throw a tantrum of my own) and Son doesn't get the experience that Dad can handle things too.

In the end, it took until last night when Husband 'fessed up that he was a little out of line to act like he did. I know that Son can be frustrating, but sometimes you just have to dive in. Being a parent is about being there for the Kodak moments, along with the Tales From the Crypt moments. It's just the way it is.

Put it this way: I'm gone for four days the third week of October. Husband has a pretty steep learning curve. I hope that for both his and Son's sakes, they are up to it.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

The agony and the ecstasy

Agony: siding guys showed up at 7:30 on a Saturday morning. I fumble to put clothes on and sprint down to the door so they don't wake Son up by ringing the freakin' doorbell again. Husband had to go into work this morning, so I'm on my own. Crap. Looking at me, the foreman asks me if he woke me up. Ummm, does the fact that one side of my face still has sheet wrinkles in it give me away? Just for the record, I'm not one of those people that looks cute a little (ok, a lot) dishelved. I just look, well, like you woke me up.

Ecstasy: All of the siding is off of the house, the house wrap is up, and they are coming back tomorrow to do the soffit and wrap the windows. If the siding vendor hadn't delivered the wrong J-channel, we may have even had siding up today. The foreman will pick up the right stuff on Monday. He told us that the house will be done by the end of the day on Monday. Husband will no longer have an excuse for the lawn looking like it needs a baler instead of a bagger.

It's been a long day, since I was solo mommy all day. Time for bed.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Oh, how nautical!

We took Son out on the newly acquired boat on Saturday. We drove up to my parents (a mere 200 miles with 1 1/2 tons behind us) so we could get on a lake of some decent size. It's been a pretty dry summer, so a lot of the lakes are pretty low right now. Low enough to make putting this monster in on a regular landing requires a good bit of maneuvering, cursing, and making promises to God. Oh, and trying to avoid the dirty looks from those others that are oh-so-patiently waiting behind you.

We went out and bought an infant life jacket for Son at Target the night before. It wasn't that expensive, but sheesh, he's only going to wear it less than 10 times. He looks like a little Stegosaurus with it on, but it's supposed to help keep the child's head up out of the water if they ever (God forbid) need to use it for its intended purpose. He wasn't too happy about having to wear it, but, for the first of many times, it was for his own good. Of course, once we were out on Saturday we found an infant sized life jacket that the previous owner had left behind. Grrr. Even though it was pink and purple, it would have worked. However, on the up side, there were the next three sizes up in the boat as well-and all of them barely used. Hallejulah!

So, on to Saturday. We got to my parents around 1:30, and while on a normal day, it would have been Son's naptime, he had slept enough in the car for me not to be too worried. We all pack up into the Jeep, and try to find the lake with a landing that is still deep enough to put the behemoth in. We finally arrive, Husband backs the trailer down the ramp, and....The boat is not moving. Even this landing is too shallow to get enough water under this thing to let it float off the trailer, which is what is supposed to happen. Husband has to now back up so the back wheels of the Jeep are now in the lake and halfway up. Boat finally floats off, but starts to wander off due to the wind. Herculean efforts by my Dad to keep it from turning sideways and get it over to the dock. Herculean efforts by the 4X4 gods to get Jeep up off of landing since we had to essentially back so far in that we were off of the cement of the landing.

Finally, we all pile in. Husband is trying to keep it all together and act like he knows what he is doing. It's not working. My oh-so-helpful father gives instruction. Husband is happy to get it, but still has that whole issue with acknowledging that he just might not get it. We finally get out, and it really was a beautiful day. Son, well, he wasn't so crazy about the trip out to the other side of the lake. I don't know if it was the sound of the engine, the wind, or feeling me tense up, but Mom said that we was looking a little scared. All he did was sit absolutely still in my lap and hold onto my pants leg.

Once we stopped, Son relaxed a little and started getting a little interested in his surroundings. My dad took him on his lap in the drivers seat, and Son was in heaven. Buttons, switches to play with...Hooray! (Actually, the same thing goes for my dad-he LOVES to fiddle with anything he can get his hands one. Usually manages to break something.) They sat there for a good 30 minutes. Son took possession of the steering wheel and wouldn't let go. He managed to turn on the radio, and was bopping away on Dad's lap. He also found the volume control (I still don't know where it is) and turned it up just to get a reaction out of Husband. Little stinker.

All in all, he made it for about an hour before the sun, a skimpy lunch, and lack of a nap got to him. He enjoyed the trip in a lot more. He just loves the wind in his hair. I'm looking forward to giving him something that I had in my childhood. I spent a lot of time in the bottom of a barebones 14 ft. Crestliner when I was a kid, but I had a lot of fun too. My first biology lessons were learned on Portage Lake. I hope that Son will have the same type of memories. I'm also happy that my Dad was able to spend this time with him. He still keeps trying to get Son's first words to be "fish." Never know, it might happen.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Told Ya!

Why is it that whenever I tell anyone (including blogland) that Son is sleeping well that the next night doesn't go so great? Why? Told ya he was messing with me. When he woke up for good this morning he was in a really good mood, so no harm, no foul I guess. I love it when I walk into his room, turn on the light, and he is just sitting there in his crib, grinning at me. Oh, and he is wearing his "Heartbreaker" onesie. Yep, this kid has got me wrapped.

So, even though I am struggling on the sleep front today, life isn't too bad. I downloaded my performance eval today, and it was actually good. I was a little nervous about it for some reason...I'm not sure why. I've actually seen my manager, let's see, twice over this reporting period. Twice. I talk to him a couple of times a week, maybe. On the up side, he lets me do what I need to do, with little to no micromanagement. On the down side, guidance it a little, well, sparse. Anyway, this is my third time around reporting to him. It's a little awkward in that we have alternated between being peers and being in a reporting relationship. I have a hard time sometimes when he gets all managerial with me-I have to stop myself from blowing it off and be compliant. I've managed to keep it on an even keel for the most part. He's home this week with his new baby (the second in the department in two weeks!), so we haven't had a chance to go over the eval like HR says we should, but I'm OK with just reading it. We've all go t so much on our plates that taking time for something so administrative just seems like a waste.

Overall, today hasn't been too bad. Here comes the weekend...Hooray!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Messing with me

This is exactly what this kid is doing with me. Messing around with my mind. You may laugh, but I am utterly serious. All of my theories about teething? Wrong. I ventured a finger in this morning, and he is still pretty darn gummy back there. I'm not sure what Husband thought he was feeling, but it certainly was not tooth. I'm getting played, by an 11 month old. Man, have I lost my touch.

So, after a week of getting up at night, at least once, Son has now slept through all week. What gives? Mind you I'm not complaining, since I was nearing the point of a meltdown due to sheer lack of continuous sleep. However, once I start to get used to it, he'll change gears on me again.

Last night was the capper. He went down (with more than his normal degree of true grumping, not sure where that came from) last night around 8:15. I woke him up this morning 12 hours later. Not a peep. Even though I have absolutely no reason to worry, I went in around 7:00 to make sure that he was OK. He was fine. It was raining, he was wrapped up in his chenille blanket, and snuggled up in the far corner of his crib. Baby nirvana.

On the up side, Husband got me up early (grrr), so I managed to shower, get ready, dressed, and clean up the kitchen. The dishwasher is running right now. Oh, and the garbage went out to greet the nice Waste Management truck.

I'll enjoy the productivity now, but I know that he's just messing with me.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

It's the little things

I need to get this down before I forget. Because it was a piece of minutiae that makes life what it is.

Last night after dinner, Son, Husband, and I set out for an abbreviated grocery shopping expedition. Most of it was to get things that I can either (a) quickly make and (b) not feel guilty about giving to Son. Yes, I was having a guilt trip over feeding him hot dogs (the all beef, not at all good for you kind) on Sunday. Does it count that he had mixed vegetables with it? But I digress.

Husband hates shopping of any kind, but he always wants to come with anyway. The grocery store might be the exception because I usually allow the sneaky additions that he throws in the cart-last night it was Cheetos (the really big bag), those cheap but yummy sandwich cookies, and a dozen day-old donuts. While he was off grabbing the not-so-high on the nutrition items, I was agonizing over organic vs. Cheaper generic frozen peas. Such a glamorous life.

I emerge from the frozen section, and can't find Husband and Son anywhere. I'm a little perturbed at this, since we were pushing it being there that close to Son's bedtime. I go on the hunt, scanning aisle by aisle. About two aisles into my search, I hear baby giggles. Those goofy, completely genuine giggles. I also know that they belong to Son. What do I see but Husband pushing the cart down the aisle at breakneck speed, just to jump on the back and coast down the aisle. Meanwhile, Son is twisting around in the seat of the cart, the wind blowing back his hair a bit, to see where he is going with this huge smile on his face. They BOTH had this silly grin.

THIS is why I wanted to give this man a child. So he can have those moments of complete joy and levity. Something that he didn't get very often, if at all, with his own dad. They were having so much fun I couldn't help but laugh and smile. Its one of those moments that I wish I could guarantee that I could picture in my mind for a long time, that I could keep. But for now I can think about it and smile, and know that they had a good day together.

Productive Days

OK, so maybe productive isn't the best word to use, but it does convey the sentiment. Life seems to be chugging along with a full head of steam over the past week. Things have finally slowed down to breathe a little.

On the home improvement front, the masons finished up putting the stone on the house last Thursday. It looks great! The whole neighborhood has weighed in, and so far nothing negative (like it would matter, but still, approval is always nice). We had hoped that the siders would start the following day, but here we are on Tuesday, and no sign of them. Meanwhile, I have beautiful stonework with gaping holes in the old siding around it since they had to cut it away in order to put the stone up. I've got to try to get hold of the company today to see what the deal is. I really want to get this done! However, on the up side, the money from the loan that we got to cover this is sitting gaining a nice interest rate in our savings account, so at least we aren't losing anything!

Speaking of the loan, we knew that we had a little extra over and above the amount that we would need for the house, so we have been debating what to do with it. Of course, the prudent thing would be to sit on it, but that's usually not how it works. Anyway, we have also been talking about buying a used boat for a couple of years now. I can't, correct that, won't pay $20-30K for a boat new. However, this being Minnesota and all, there are lots of decent used boats to be had. Husband isn't big into fishing, but since I was raised with a fishing rod in my hand, I tend to differ. We've been bouncing back and forth on what we wanted, and eventually we agreed that a fish/ski combo would work. Husband had dragged me up to look at a 1978 (good God, the thing is as old as my brother!) Larson that was actually in pretty good shape, for a decent price. We had even gone as far as to set up a day over the weekend to pick it up and take it out. Husband mentioned this to one of our neighbors, who told us that he knew someone that was selling a boat that was an 1988 with a lot more options for the same amount. Well, long story shorter, we ended up with the '88. I'm so excited! It needs a little work on the interior, but overall, it's really nice. It has an open bow, a brand new inboard motor, and will have new carpet after today. It even has a porti-potti and a refrigerator. It's 21', which is fairly big. It makes my Grand Cherokee look tiny when its hooked up to it. The Jeep can handle it, but it still looks a little funny. It was funny to hear Husband tell SIL that they could come up and "go out on the boat." It has just been something that we have wanted for a while. Now we just need to find a place for it...Probably should have thought about that before. Oh well.

Finally, we added another member to the family on Thursday. One of my admins called up from her car after she left work, and told me that there was a stray cat hanging around outside of our gate. Knowing that I am a sucker for a sob story, that was pretty much all I needed. Yep, she came home with me. She's still pretty kitten, and I would guess that she is under a year. As we drove home, she perched between the headrests on the back seat of the Jeep, and she and Son just checked each other out. She's not too sure about him yet. He keeps chasing her down, so either she will become a champion at hiding out, or they will come to some sort of understanding. We've been slowly introducing her to the other cats at home, and while Drac is pretty mellow about it all, Cybl has been a bit more, well, touchy. That's our Dracie in the picture. He's our somewhat small (16lbs) gray panther. A big boy with a little voice. And he seems to like Son.

Back to Cyble. You have to realize that Cybl was the first member of our menagerie. She has suffered through the addition of two other cats (this one makes three), two dogs, five moves (which includes having to be out of the house for three months because of a fire, in an apartment, and then back again), and a baby. Quite a bit to heap on a poor cat who does not exactly groove on change. So far she has had a couple tiffs with unnamed kitty so far, and they seem to be doing a little better. Kitty still has four wheel drive, which may need to be fixed. I've caught her eyeing my leather furniture, so it may be sooner rather than later. I'm going to get her a scratching post and see how she does first.

OK, so that was probably one of the most boring entries ever, but sometimes things just need to be documented. I do have a couple of other more serious entries brewing, but I had to get this all out of my head. Now I need to get back to work.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006


After all of my enthusiasm for Son's improved sleep habits, he has proceeded to NOT sleep through since last Thursday night. Sigh. Crap. ARGH!!! Darn it, I was just starting to get used to this!!

We have, however, found the culprit. We are about 85% sure that poor little man is getting in his molars. After our two month long reprieve from teething, here we are again. Husband risked serious bodily harm last night and did some investigating in Son's mouth, and he reported back (retaining all 10 fingers, mind you), that he could feel the ridges very plainly through the gum. Poor guy. I had noticed lately that Son was gnawing on the drumstick to his drum, putting the round end all of the way back. Once again, I should have known.

The problem is, other than the fact that Son really probably doesn't feel too well, that I was getting used to getting a full nights sleep every other or third night. That hasn't happened in almost a week now, and I'm very tired. After an unfortunate makeup choice of blue shadow and liner, I looked like the walking dead yesterday. Today, I'm only being propped up by the jug-o-Diet Pepsi from the Holiday station.

I guess that all we can do is start up with the proactive dose of Tylenol before bed and see where that gets us. It seemed to help with the other teeth, so hopefully it will work here. I may even get brave and do some exploration in Son's mouth to see if any progress has been made. If I'm typing funny come tomorrow, you'll know that it didn't go well.

Monday, August 07, 2006

It's Official

I have a toddler. As of Saturday morning around 9 AMish. A toddler.

Husband had to go into work that morning (a long story that only seems to be getting longer....) and Son didn't want him to go. Son was standing by his old standby, the coffee table, and was so upset that he just let go and walked over to me on the couch for some sympathy. Little bugger didn't even realize that he had done it. Happily, Husband saw those precious few steps too, so no one missed out on the big event.

He's taken a couple of more here and there since then, but he seems to be focusing on standing by himself for longer and longer. I'm trying hard not to push, since I have learned that Son will do it on his own time table. Which provides even more support for my theory that the cats have been educating him on how to handle Mommy. I now need to get Husband to just relax about the entire thing. He seems to have this mission to have Son running across the room by the time he's one. Not gonna happen. I'm just happy that I have a healthy little boy who just happens to hit milestones a little early.

Now that Son is on his way to being vertically mobile, I probably should finally suck it up and buy him a pair of shoes. Right now he is barefoot all of the time, which seems to have helped to strengthen those chunky ankles of his. Oh, and all of his socks are too small. He might have gotten some of his height from Husband, but it appears that he has also inherited the oversized flippers, er, feet from me. Geez, lucky kid.

However, soon we'll have to break out the socks since summer is beginning its long death knell. At this point, the only real shoes that he has are a pair of sandals that I think he has worn twice. Very cute, but they just seem to hinder him more than anything. Now I just need to find some Robeez on sale.......

Friday, August 04, 2006

Hooray for Son!

My angel slept from 8:19 last night until 7:45 this morning...NON-STOP!!!!! Hooray! Now, of course it would have been better if Husband had managed to sneak out of bed at 5 AM without crawling over me (he can get out of bed on his side, but every morning he insists on, well, stuff). Anyway, I managed to get myself back to sleep, and I made it until 6:30 when Husband called to make sure that I was up. How blissful is this? I had to wait almost 11 months for this, but oh, how lovely! Then, to make it even better, he was such a happy, smiley little kid. I opened his door to let him wake up on his own (I do have to go to work after all), and it took him a couple of minutes. When I went in to get him, we played peek-a-boo through the rails. I would say his name, and he would drop onto his butt and peek under the top rail and grin and giggle. I would peek up above the rail (all of this from his doorway), and a little blonde head would pop up above it. Getting him dressed wasn't an Olympic wrestling match this morning either. Oh the goodness!

So, this event, and the fact that it is happening on a what could almost be called a regular basis (!) , has a small part of me questioning whether launching myself back into the whole newborn racket would be that great of an idea. I'm just beginning to get a degree of normalcy back into my life. I can't say that I'm getting my life back per se, I know that my life pre-son will never come back. And that's not a bad thing. However, maybe I owe it to myself to let things settle out a bit further before I embark down the highway of infertility again. Just enjoy Son for all of his goofiness and smiles, and not get caught up in the pursuit of another pregnancy. I'm still of a mind that this gregarious little kid needs a sibling, but maybe I need to take care of me for a little while. I might just be able to find a little time to do that.

Oh, and all of this has contributed to make this a wonderful Friday. Hooray!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006


It rained yesterday. And last night. And this morning.

I swear that I could hear the ground absorbing all of the moisture like a big sponge. Hear the leaves taking up the water. My rudibekia had curled up its leaves in defiance of the heat indexes of over 100 for several consecutive days. This morning on the way out to the car I saw that they had given up their vigil and were unfurled again in all of their late summer glory. My roses are happy and are in the midst of their second wind bloom. The parts of the yard that hadn't been blessed by the sprinkler are now greening up, the rain coursing up their blades. As a neighbor put it: "Yesterday I walked on the lawn and it actually had some give."

Living in the Midwest, we are used to swings in temperature. It was 101 on Monday. Six months from then, it could be -20; without adding in windchill. We like to think that we are a hardy bunch. Stoic Scandanavians and all. However, like my rudibekia, we do tend to wilt when things get this hot. But yet you still see the die-hards out on their bikes, running, whatever. We just seem to know that we need to capture these days in our memories when it is January, and the thought of walking out to your car with a below-zero windchill is daunting at best. Suck up the sun and the heat and hope that it makes it through winter.

It almost felt indulgent this morning as I cleaned up around the kitchen before Son woke up and I got in the shower. I had a quiet house, everyone and everything else was sleeping. Just me and the rain. It was almost as rejuvenating as getting a full night's sleep (almost). The clouds are now gone and it is a beautiful 75 degrees. Ah, relief.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Random thoughts

I've wanted to post something, anything for the past couple of days, but I've had this burst of productivity at work that I haven't wanted to put brakes on. Son slept through for two nights in a row over the weekend, and it's amazing what it can do for a person. Lots of little stuff. Lets see.....
  • The siding guy never got our message last week about finalizing our color choices, etc. Husband talked to him this morning, so at least that is cleared up. Depending on the availability of their mason, they could start work next MONDAY!! Ack!! I have an entire shade bed on the side of the garage that needs to be dug up, moved into pots/garbage bags, and located somewhere so it doesn't all get trampled. Should be a lot of fun. We'll know a definite date sometime today. Regardless, if it is at all next week, looks like my weekend is scheduled.
  • Son woke up with a cold this morning. One of those nose masquerading as a faucet type colds. Did I mention that Son hates having his nose wiped? He was cranky last night and went to bed early, only to wake up at 10:00 and then again at 1:45. I was able to get him back down at 10:00, but nursed him at 1:45. He only stayed down until 6:30 this morning, which really wrecks havoc with my morning schedule. I thought that maybe if I left him in his crib while I showered (the shower shares a wall with his room) that he might fall back asleep for a while. Nothing doing. The highly aggravating part of it all is that he fell asleep in the car on the way to daycare. Little stinker is tired, but won't sleep. This should be a fun week. At least he only was able to leave his snot on my PJs.
  • Eliminating the night pump hasn't been too bad so far. It hasn't really even hurt that much (granted, this is only day 2). I'll get through it, but it won't stop me from complaining about it!

Now that I've got the juices flowing, I realize that I have a couple of more entries brewing. However, work is only piling up, so it's time to go and earn that paycheck. I really don't want a repeat of last night when I was sending emails at 10 PM. Not a good way to end the night.