Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Catching a break?

Today the powers that be were kind enough to send out what we employees call Company spam regarding the lovely "temporary" base pay reductions. The check that we get on Friday will be the first at the reduced level. After the obligatory groan, I logged into our nifty online payroll system, and compared the amounts. The total difference after taxes was less than I had counted on,which was a pleasant surprise.

Basically, it comes down to, on a per check basis, about $400 less per pay period. The part about maybe, possibly, catching a break? With BabyA moving into the toddler room at daycare, my overall daycare bill has been reduced by $300 a month. So, that means that I only have to find a way to make up $250 per pay period instead of $400. Husband got his bonus numbers in a couple of days ago (his company uses some convoluted formula based on about four different variables), and we should be able to knock out at least one credit card, if not two. If we can manage that, we get back to goodness in about six weeks. We may even come out ahead-those two credit cards alone can make up the difference, and then some.

I was pretty worried about this whole thing, based on what my estimated numbers gave me. However, now that I have everything in front of me, we should be able to make it. We had been living within our means at the first level, and now we'll adjust to the new level. As long as we play our cards right, we may even emerge from this in a better financial place than before-a strange by product of the whole economic downturn. I guess that it sometimes just takes a pretty firm kick in the butt to finally get our act together.

Just six more weeks.....

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

No little boy

I had one interesting, unsettling, discovery this weekend.

Son has discovered that his penis, who he has named George, has a function other than to pee with. This will be funny a couple of years down the line, but right now, I don't know what to think about it.

So here's the deal. It's Sunday morning, and since we were all going a bit stir-crazy, we decided to get out of the house. That entails wearing something other than PJs. I sent Son into his room to get dressed, and had his clothes laid out on the bed. Son went into his room, closed the door (which he normally does to keep BabyA out), and I went off to put in a load of laundry. I came back upstairs after a good 20 minutes, expecting to find Son at least partly done getting dressed. He's three after all, and well, it usually takes time.

I open his door to find him sitting on his bed, naked, with, um, George, standing at attention, and Son looking a little guilty. I ended up being as flustered as he was, so I retreated, closed the door and told him to get dressed through the closed door. I went out to talk to Husband about whether this was normal, and all he did was laugh. I was mortified. Finally, 40 minutes after he first went in, Son emerged. Husband tried to talk to him, and told him that if he had any questions, Husband would try to answer them. They did this rather discretely, and that was about it.

Needless to say, this happened a couple of more times that day. He hasn't done it since, and I haven't had a desire to revisit it. I mean, I understand that he would be curious at some point, and that he would eventually figure it out, but I was holding out for him to be, oh, say, 13, not three. I don't want him to be shy or feel guilty; it's a part of his anatomy, and this is how it works. It's just hard for me to see my son in that light-that someday he will be a sexual creature. I want him to stay my innocent little boy, dammit!

I never really considered that this would be part of being the mother to a son. When it comes to BabyA, I should be able to handle this-I have the same equipment and biology, so we're in it together. However, not quite so much the case with a boy. I have an even bigger appreciation for single moms that have to deal with this.

I know, I know, just a part of growing up. But, I, but....oh geez.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Short and not-so-sweet

I'm just in a crappy funk today-I feel like I want to cry, but I can't tell you why. It feels like it would be cathartic, just to get me out of this.

THE house appears to have sold. It's not that we really could have handled it financially, but it was a nice little dream to have, at least for a while. For once, restraint prevailed, which was probably the best thing. I can't help but be a little bummed. Husband, the great empath that he is, told me that I shouldn't be upset, since we could never have it. I just am, and it would be nice to have him understand, just ONCE.

Why, even though I know better, does Valentine's Day still fill me with dread? Husband doesn't do this stuff too well, and after 10+ years I shouldn't have any expectations. No cards or anything; probably won't even acknowledge it. He does this with our anniversary and my birthday. He's not a card guy, I make my living with words. Not always a compatible mix. It's too much hassle to find a babysitter, and just too much in general. I'm just as much at fault. I guess that I just want to be taken care of, be pampered once in a while. You know, by someone else other than me. I suck at it, but my mental health could really use it.

I have different things that I need to get done today, but I have zero desire. Maybe I just need a nap. Or something.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

its all just bullet points

Blech...I have about four different posts in my head, but if I don't use the next two workdays that have yet to be populated with any type of meeting whatsoever, I will hate, hate, hate myself, so, here's the abbreviated version. Maybe between dog baths on my lovely Monday off next week (because, hey, who wouldn't want to be covered in wet, stinky dog hair?), I'll hit them up. Maybe. Between coughing up hairballs.
  • My company, who, like so many others, has subjected its employees to layoffs, has put pay decreases into effect for low level managers and above, are now refusing to pay for the classes that I need to take, as in statutorily mandated, to keep my license. It's not a perk people, I'm not going to these things for the overwhelming enrichment or to pay for parking downtown, or to be subjected to really, really, rotten coffee. I need them to be able to do my job legally. You know, to fulfill my job requirements. So, as I bitched and moaned to my boss, and his boss-because what fun is it without a gratuitous CC: or two-I now have to pay to keep my job out of my now 2005 level salary. Very rarely have I ever questioned this company, or how it was run on a large scale, but to say that I'm pissed doesn't even cover it. Like I really need to put $400 on my personal credit card, since I have to take the rest of my required classes prior to the end of June.
  • We are still talking about THE house. Husband has even referred to it a couple of times as "our house," which is really telling. His best friend was up over this past weekend, and they were able to walk in and look around. God, how I hate this company.....
  • On the up side, I called and checked on a credit card balance, and I've paid it down over 50%. OK, well I had, until the CLE mishap. But still-yea! With Husband's bonus, and this lower balance, we can pay off the majority of our credit card debt, with only one to go. That alone almost makes up the lost income due to the pay reduction. I'm happy about that.
  • Husband's friend also asked while he was up whether we were done with kids. He acted as though the answer would be, of course, "no." My response, was "maybe," although I know that I've told Husband that I'm not up to closing that door yet, and Husband, as usual was "yes." It must have been rattling around in Husband's head since then, because a couple of nights ago he asked me whether I was serious about wanting more. As I've mentioned before, I'm really on the fence. On the one hand, we have beautiful kids, and we've been lucky twice-why push it? Just because we dodge multiples twice doesn't mean that would would again. I'm getting older, and so is he. On the other hand, we have beautiful kids, and wouldn't it be great to have another little person to only make it even better? There are all sorts of pros and cons, and the whole thing DOES scare me at some level. This would be a different conversation if I were in my early 30s, but IF took that option from me.
  • The "get your shit together before you fall apart" campaign as it applies to my overall health and weight issues is going OK. I haven't seen an appreciable change on the scale (anyone else notice that the Wii is just a hair short of insulting you when you do your body tests?), I've been on the treadmill on a fairly regular basis for almost three weeks now. I even ran a couple of nights ago, with no soreness the next day. My lack of a decent exercise bra was evident, but it felt so good. It really wasn't that bad, and with the heart monitor, I was able to gauge things a bit better. I get to watch Burn Notice tonight, so off I go.
  • BabyA is 17 months today. Where did my baby go?

OK, off to get something done. I've got one deadline that I've got to shoot for tomorrow to get clients happy. Someday I want to be the client....

Monday, February 02, 2009

Tales of the day....

Just the daily minutia:

**It's four, yep, count 'em four, degrees out, and while walking down the hospital-like hallways of where I work, there is a song on the muzak that uses steel drums. That's not even nice.

**I go on a Target run over lunch for cough drops, and disinfecting wipes (one of my admins won't come into my office due to the return of "the hack"), and I'm so proud of myself for remembering my re-usable shopping bag. Yea for Chronicle! Then what do I do? Get a plastic bag to try to keep my pizza from the cafe warm until I get back to work. Duh. What does that get me on the environmental footprint map??

**NOTE TO THE RESIDENT 16 MONTH OLD OF THE CHRONICLE HOUSE: thou shalt keep thy butt in bed all night long. No 3:30 wake ups for Mommy, based solely on the fact that you had misplaced your Binky in your crib, and a desire for yet another reading of "Panda Bear, Panda Bear." Thank you, The Management

**NOTE TO THE RESIDENT THREE YEAR OLD: You made my morning when you came into my room and said, "Hi Mommy, it's me, C." Of course it is, and I'm happy to see you too. Thank you for not wailing during the process of getting dressed this morning, for plying your sister with grapes and blueberries while I took black dog out, and for still wanting to hold my hand.