Friday, March 13, 2009

18 Months

BabyA had her 18 month appointment today. She was her bright and perky self-insisted on walking to the exam room, which was ALL.THE.WAY at the end. She moves quickly, but not that fast. That hallway has never seemed so long.

Anyway. We did all the basic stuff, height (32"!), weight (23 lbs), and head circumference (19). She's still fairly skinny and tall (35 and 70th percentiles, respectively). The exam was pretty uneventful, but I do love to watch her face. Our pedi is great-we've finally found the right fit. She sat on my lap as Dr. S. checked reflexes, etc. BabyA looked at her knee in shock as her foot shot out after the tap. She was completely entranced, but very, very serious. I couldn't help but chuckle. She was checking Dr. S out quite thoroughly. No crying, but intense interest. Those big baby blues were following everything, her brow slightly furrowed.

Just one shot, her tetanus booster. She didn't even cry. Girl felt sorry for her mommy. Overall, we are once again blessed to have an uber healthy little girl. She's OK at her weight right now, and we just need to keep her there. She's still a little picky, but she will try new things, at least a little bit. She's a unique little creature, this now toddler of mine. Once again, a baby in my house has performed a vanishing act. I'll always miss the baby she was, but I can't wait to see the person that she becomes.

Friday, March 06, 2009

Sweetest thing...

Last night when I picked up the kids from daycare, both of them were out in the large muscle area. I came through the gate, and BabyA was there, arms up, saying "up, up!" I picked her up and was talking to the director about a bite mark that had materialized on BabyA. We finished up, deciding that somebody got away with one, and I turned to see Son getting into it with another kid over a toy.

The teacher broke it up, and Son came over to me, crying. It was a case of a tired kid, another kid grabbing onto his toy, and the end of the day. ANYWAY, BabyA, who I had put down when I heard the squawking from Son, came over to Son, and wrapped her arms around his waist and gave him the biggest hug. I haven't gotten a true hug from her yet, but yet Son gets one. He sort of ignored her, and just clung to my legs. BabyA, being her usual determined self, was still worried, so she went around him and hugged him from the back. He calmed down, and she felt that everything was OK enough to let go.

It was a show of empathy that I hadn't seen from her before, and made me so happy. It was one of the reasons that we had two children-so that they would have each other, be able to lean on each other, play together. They still have their moments, and I would be surprised if they didn't. However, it was such sweet, pure concern for Son, that motivated her.

I pray that it doesn't change any time soon. Just another reason for me to thank God for having her in my world. Our little family would be less without her.

Monday, March 02, 2009


OK, I have to fess up. One of the very few things that I DON'T mind about having PCOS is that a lack of periods really isn't that big of a deal if you don't want to get pregnant at the time. Really. Oh, I know, there is that whole facial hair issue, and the weight combined with the diabetes risk, and then the infertility thing. But other than that? Not so bad.

As a matter of fact, I was at my yearly OB/GYN visit a couple of months ago and after the damn scale (cursed thing!), the nice nurse asked the date of my last period. When I replied, "December 1, 2006" she just looked at me with a funny look. I explained that I had a 15 month old (at the time). She just asked as she handed me the pee cup, "Are you worried?" I had to laugh, that laugh reserved for infertiles when encountering someone that doesn't know their history. I just told her that it would require an act of God for me to be worried. I don't think that she even checked.

At that appointment, my GYN wasn't quite as glib. She looked at me from over her glasses, and told me in no uncertain terms that I wasn't allowed to wait much longer. She had all sorts of good medical reasons. We also discussed the fact that I was down to one, maybe two, brief nursing sessions a day, and really wasn't that protected anymore (in addition to the mini pill that I have been on since BabyA was six weeks old). Again, I pulled out my laugh. She upped the ante by telling me about one of her patients that was in the same boat, with the same absolute belief that it would take divine intervention, and was now 36 weeks with twins. You know, those stories that any infertile hates. I have to admit, that I took a bit, just a tiny bit, to heart. As previously discussed, now would not be the right time to have the oops that I occasionally happily dream of. My luck just seems to work that way.

No, I am not leading up to any announcement, other than PMS sucks. I've been spotting off and on for a couple of weeks now, and I just started the "real" pill last night, and I feel like crap. I always get a bit nauseous when I start out on the pill, and this time is no exception. I also feel all bloaty, my back hurts, and I just want to crawl into bed. Oh, and isn't it SOOOOO convenient that this was the way that I felt each time I was pregnant? I'm pushing it far to the back corners of my mind, although I might pull out a test in a couple of weeks just to make sure. Faced with the reality of a third, it does scare me a little bit. What an odd feeling, an infertile afraid of being pregnant. I just feel to some degree like I am "over it." I don't have that driving, desperate need anymore. If we don't have any more, we could be OK. I just need to find a way to accept it if that is the end result. It just feels really strange to worry about something like this, when my reality has been so different.

Blech. I'm going home to find a salt lick and some more caffeine. And then as many Advil as possible. This being a girl stuff isn't so much fun....