Thursday, July 06, 2006


Wow....Here I am in blogland. Never thought that I would land here. I have been journaling at another site, but things there have broken down to the point where it isn't a whole lot of joy being there anymore. So here I am.

The point of this blog is to explore the joys of first time motherhood in conjunction with trying to work fulltime and not losing myself in the shuffle. So far, I haven't quite got the juggling act down, although I think that it could be said that I try awful hard.

Just for some background, I finally became a mom in the fall of 2005, after four years of infertility. Those four years included a little over two years of actual treatments from either my OB/GYN or eventually, our RE. My infertility is caused by PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). I'd always had irregular cycles and other issues, but in my teens I was told that I would "grow out of it." As usual, that didn't happen.

We eventually conceived our son on our fifth round of injectibles with IUI. It was only the third time that we had actually gotten me to ovulate. I still remember very vividly coming home from running errands over my Christmas furlough from work to see the light flashing on the answering machine, checking the caller ID to verify that, yes, it was my RE's office, and being utterly terrified to press play. It was two days after Christmas. When I heard the nurse say that I had a positive Beta, and that all of my numbers looked good, I just sat in our office at home in complete and utter shock. We had spent so much time, energy, and money to get to this point, and I couldn't quite comprehend that it had actually happened. This of course was followed by the "holy s***", what did we do? moment.

Even today as I watch my son getting ready to take his first steps, it still can feel like I am looking at someone else's life. I'm a mom. Really? And you say that I get to keep him? Wonderful!!!

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