Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Gulp.

Here's the short version:
  • Freaked out about turning 35. For some reason this is a big deal to me. I think I've read too much about how fertility takes a definite downturn in normal fertiles at this point.
  • Freaked out again about turning 35 and being an infertile.
  • Called Dr. RE yesterday and have an appointment on the 30th.

Gulp.

Does this mean that I am really serious about the whole issue of a #2 entering our lives? Yes, I believe so. I highly doubt that we will do anything yet this year. I still need to get off of my happy pills, and I really want to wean Son completely. However, if we have enough in the good 'ol FSA to take a shot in December, I might just go for it.

Now I just have to tell Husband that I made the appointment. He has said pretty much all along that this would be my decision (can we say coward?). I know that he is trying to make me be able to feel OK about the possibility of not being able to create another miracle. He is trying to protect me. However, it still feels like I have all of the responsibility here. But then again, I am the one who gets to be poked, prodded, and violated with an ultrasound wand on a regular basis.

However, the more that I think about it, the more that I want to do this.

Gulp.

1 comment:

Erin said...

Gulp is right--it's scary to consider jumping back into this. I hope you're able to make your decision easily!