Just for kicks, here is a somewhat hazily-remembered list from the past week:
- The meaning of this one is obvious. I'm busy cleaning my house, and generally organizing (for some reason I am doing this alone, which is a strange occurrence in and of itself). The reason for the cleaning? I'm going to die. Not if I don't do the cleaning, but rather, I'm about to die, as in that very day, and I want the house to be OK. My dream extra family keeps telling me to stop, because I have to go to the hospital so I can go to sleep. I ask, "what if I don't wake up?" No one answers me. Flash to a futuristic hospital, actually looked like one out of an episode of "Firefly," and I'm being checked in by Husband so I can go to bed and fall asleep, AKA die. Everyone was treating it so nonchalantly; like this is what was supposed to happen. The whole thing shook me up so much that it's taken me a couple of days to get it out of my head. Probably shouldn't watch ER before going to bed.
- The next one I don't get. I'm with my ex, and for once, I can completely see his face, body, the whole thing. Usually when he pops up, I just know that it is him, but I never see his face. Anyway, I'm getting married, to him. My maid of honor is the one in the full veil and dress, but I know that I'm the one getting married. We are just about to start the vows, and a relative (another dream extra) stops the whole thing and tells me that he needs to talk to me. He then goes into a litany of all of the things that will happen as we would age, change in hair, face, etc. None of this is relevant to the Ex. I know exactly what he looks like, I know what his parents look like, and none of what dream extra guy is telling me is worth anything. I bolt from the whole thing and then shift to climbing up and over a grassy hill with my parent behind me, with me telling them, in a rather exasperated tone, that I'm going to marry him-and that's final. Then I wake up. Usually, when I have these dreams, I always end up asking where is Husband? Like I know that I'm supposed to be with him. This time it didn't happen. Have I finally processed all that happened with Ex and I can finally let it go?
Needless to say, after not dreaming for a very long time, I'm a little baffled by the whole thing. They have kept on coming, fast and furious, for the past week. I'm exhausted. The thing that sucks is that while I know that my mind needs to do this, I always end up feeling like I have been awake the entire time that I was dreaming. They always seem that real to me.
Nothing really weird has happened in the past couple of days, but I'm waiting. Didn't know that my issues were so screwed up.