Friday, December 22, 2006

Ambivalent

Lots of things going on, not a whole lot of time.

First things first, did our trigger tonight. It actually didn't hurt as much as I had remembered. Either I overstated things before, or, as Husband put it, he's just "that good." We'll see how I feel when I try to get out of bed tomorrow morning. I have my first IUI mid-morning tomorrow, and then the second about 24 hours later. I have two decent follicles, both on the right side (interesting), one was a 23 this morning, and the other a 20. I don't think that on our previous attempts we ever triggered with two that were this big. I certainly can feel them. I've been having some not-so-subtle twinges for the past couple of days. There are about 4-5 of them that are in the low teens, but I don't think that they will have enough steam to do anything to be worried about.

I'm nervous, and trying not to think about it too much. Of course, I would like for it to work, but I'm scared about it actually working. Does that make sense? It's just that I feel as though I stuggle so much some days just to keep myself about water. What would I do with two? I don't get naps now, and I remember how exhausted I was the whole first trimester with Son. The one thing that seems to be weighing on my mind the most is that Husband is really excited about this. Since he is usually the restrained one, I'm not used to him jumping on the bandwagon with this much enthusiasm. Yes, I do remember that I was complaining that he was being non-committal before. Just goes to show that you need to be careful of what you wish for.

The other part is that our Christmas celebration got pushed up a day thanks to my SIL. Of course, no one broached the subject with us, you know, the people who are hosting it, until, oh, yesterday. I'm just down about the whole thing. Despite being an introvert, and not being a particularily good hostess, I really DO enjoy the preparation part. I like to bake cookies, decorate. It might not qualify for any magazine spread, but it's the process that I like. Pushing everything up a day really screws that up. The house isn't going to be what I want, I won't get to cook anything because Husband takes over and makes the meal (probably a good thing, since the last time I tried to make poultry of any sort, I put the chicken upside down in the roaster.) I just don't feel like I contribute much. The house isn't going to be where I want it to be, and crap will be shoved into the bedroom, the china isn't going to get pre-washed, or the silverware polished. I'll be lucky if we actually get everything on the table. My goal at this point is to erradicate all of the cat hair on the floors, and chip the squashed peas off of the floor. Oh well.

At this point, I just want to get through all of it, and I'm really looking forward to Son's face when he gets into his presents. He's really into everything truck, or at least with wheels. We indulged him a bit, but it's fun. He's actually seen most of it already-we have to 'fess up to a couple of bait-and-switches in TRU, but at least we know that things won't end up in a corner. I also got him his first trike. I can't wait for him to be on it this summer; pregnant or not.

I'm home all this coming week, so my hope is that I can actually get some things done around here. I've had a new storage system for my linen closet out in the garage since, umm, this summer. I need to reclaim our office. I also want to make a point to just stop, and spend time with Son. He's doing so many things right now, and while he is going through that phase of wanting "Da-Da" all the time, I don't want to miss this stuff. It's so easy to just focus on what I think needs to be done. Time to recharge and hug my little boy. And survive tomorrow.

1 comment:

pithydithy said...

Hi girlie. So....how were the IUI's? Christmas? I'm hanging out, hoping for an update. Hopefully you're busy gestating some great news for us!