Need to remember

Tonight was one of those nights with BabyA that makes me not want her to grow up and stop being the sweet, precious baby that she is.

She started rubbing her eyes (a new one for her, but when accompanied by a yawn, pretty darn conclusive of a sleepy baby) around 7:30. I finished up Son's bath since Husband was in the doghouse with him, turned over the dressing duties to Husband (by then the transgression had been forgiven by Son), and headed downstairs after retrieving the backup binky from her swing.

Getting her ready for bed can be a lot of fun. Just time for hte two of us. I undress her, change her diaper, put on her lotion (she struggles with some dry skin issues), and get her dressed. While we are doing this, she is talking to me, plays with her toes, and will grab on to my hand and insist that she gnaw on it for while. I'll take that for now, since her teeth on very much on their way. Anyway, she was in a great mode. Very smiley and just charming.

I fed the hungry little vampire, but she wasn't horribly settled. She would wiggle around, unlatch, look up at me with that little half grin, latch back on, and repeat. By the time that she is done with both sides and burped, it is clear that someone isn't even remotely sleepy.

Husband came in for a wardrobe consult (poor guy is color blind, and things can get a bit, well, interesting), and while it wasn't the most clear thing, it looked like she reached for him. This made Husband glow, since he has been convinced that she doesn't like him. He held her, and all sorts of smiles. She has mirrored closet doors, and while she isn't sure who that baby is in the mirror, she sure thought that the one that she saw was awful entertaining. She was still very awake.

Husband went upstairs to bed, and BabyA and I settled into the loveseat in her room to watch Iron Chef and just snuggle. I had the lights dimmed down, and BabyA on my lap sideways. She can sit by herself pretty well when supported, but she nearly immediately leaned over to the side and snuggled her head under my chin. it was a little cold in her room, so I wrapped a blanket around her. She started to make her content noises. I found myself stroking the fuzz on her head that is sprouting up now that she's losing her newborn hair. I realized that for that moment at least, I was happy, and so lucky to have the two beautiful kids that I do. I thought about the mom who hasn't been able to touch her son yet due to a freak accident in the nursery a couple of days ago.* I said a prayer for little Maverick, and said a very heartfelt thank you for BabyA and Son. I wrapped my arms around her, and she just snuggled in closer, her breathing evening out, and only occasionally punctuated by a repositioning of her binky. Later on I layed her down, fairly awake, and I haven't heard a peep since then.

I suppose that this doesn't seem too earth-shattering, but it was such a wonderful feeling to have my healthy, beautiful baby girl on my lap, snuggled in, happy to be with me. For just those few moments, everything felt settled, good. Those moments are very hard to come by some days. I'm so thankful that she decided to share that one with me.

*If you haven't seen this story, go to www.startribune.com. Basically, a newborn, 12 hours old, was in a warmer in the hospital nursury with an oxygen hood. For a reason not yet known, the hood ignited and the baby was burned, with second and third degree burns over roughly 20% of his body. Fortunatley, a nurse was nearby, and was able to extinguish the fire very quickly. He's in critical, yet stable condition at the state's best burn unit. He is the youngest patient they have treated-he was 14 hours old when he was airlifted from the hospital where he was born by c-section to the burn unit. For some reason, I can't get this get little boy out of my head.