When I think about it, I've evened out quite a bit from earlier in this pregnancy when I was a hormonal, mood-swinging psycho. Contrary to what Husband may assert, I really have calmed down. I've now moved on to freaking out over exactly how much we need to do to get ready for this one. Mind you, I would be doing this non-pregnant, even though I am a procrastinator about actually doing anything, I tend to think about things well in advance.
So, it tends to take my by surprise when the hormones make their presence known lately. Case in point, this morning. I didn't sleep real well last night, since my brain didn't get any shut down time before bed last night. After I got up for my potty break at 3:30, sleep was tortured at best. I'm tired, but functioning.
I get to daycare, drop Son off, and he's playing happily. I notice that his cubby is full of "art" projects (mostly done for him since they seem a bit advanced for him, but still) that I haven't picked up, so I pull them all out and go back out to the car. I looked through them, and while you can't see a whole lot of Son in them, it does look like he is progressively trying harder to actually do something with them. Anyway, I come across one where his handprints are like tulips on top of teacher-drawn stems. I started to bawl, right there in the daycare parking lot. I got it together to leave, but promptly dissolve again once I cross the street and park in the lot for work. (The picture is now up on the wall in my office-there are days where I still wish that I didn't have to leave him every day).
I get to work, and since I have a short amount of time to burn before my first appointment of the day, I check my bloglist. To find an entry about a loving Lab who was her master's best friend, and mourned him when he died in the way that only animals can. The entry went on to talk about how the dog helped the master's wife cope with his death, and about how the dog died over the weekend. I cried again. It probably didn't help that the picture of the dog looks a lot like my Yellow Dog, the ditzy blond lab that we have. Sigh. I said a little prayer for Sadie and those who loved her. I also plan on hugging Yellow Dog when I get home tonight, and I might even break out the last new tennis ball in the can.
All of this before 10am. Can't wait to see what the rest of the day holds for me......
UPDATE: No more waterworks as of 3:30, although I probably should have after I got the return call from my OB after he saw my glucose numbers. Off the to the diabetes clinic for me! Possibility of PM insulin, which doesn't surprise me much. I've got the big group session next Monday-which I have a hunch will be a waste of time since I've done this already, but the refresher was what I asked for, right? Let's just do what we can about these fasting numbers, please? I'm trying not to be any more neurotic than normal, but I'm getting a little scared. And Husband has the balls to say that I'm not taking this seriously. He couldn't make it a week.
1 comment:
There is such a thing as a diabetes clinic? Awesome. I mean, I'm sure you don't want it - but what a service to help people keep control of BS levels (blood sugar, that is LOL). I remember crying SO much when I was pregnant - then my MIL had a heart attack and died right in front of me while 20 wks pregnant with my son - that gave me something to cry about. To make matters worse, a midwife I was pregnant with lost her newborn son (born just days before mine) to SIDS when he was barely 2 wks old. I cried, and cried. And cried. Just let it out. It's the only way. LOL.
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