Friday, February 13, 2009

Short and not-so-sweet

I'm just in a crappy funk today-I feel like I want to cry, but I can't tell you why. It feels like it would be cathartic, just to get me out of this.

THE house appears to have sold. It's not that we really could have handled it financially, but it was a nice little dream to have, at least for a while. For once, restraint prevailed, which was probably the best thing. I can't help but be a little bummed. Husband, the great empath that he is, told me that I shouldn't be upset, since we could never have it. I just am, and it would be nice to have him understand, just ONCE.

Why, even though I know better, does Valentine's Day still fill me with dread? Husband doesn't do this stuff too well, and after 10+ years I shouldn't have any expectations. No cards or anything; probably won't even acknowledge it. He does this with our anniversary and my birthday. He's not a card guy, I make my living with words. Not always a compatible mix. It's too much hassle to find a babysitter, and just too much in general. I'm just as much at fault. I guess that I just want to be taken care of, be pampered once in a while. You know, by someone else other than me. I suck at it, but my mental health could really use it.

I have different things that I need to get done today, but I have zero desire. Maybe I just need a nap. Or something.

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