Does metformin make you delusional?

Seriously...I need to know.

So here's the background. After falling off the met wagon about a month ago, I decided that darn it, it CAN help you get rid of this entire other person that you're hauling around, so take it already! I'm up to 1500 mgs at this point, which is even better than I used to do during the infertility days. I've been paying for my rather rapid ramp, but I'm almost through the woods on that, so I just need to suck it up a couple of more days. I'm ultimately supposed to hit 2000mgs of the stuff, which I hope to be able to handle in a couple of weeks.

OK, so the delusional part. Granted, I've been hitting the treadmill on a very regular basis in the mornings, and have even added in some upper body work (treadmill push ups, but hey, its something). I've been upping the pace from where I started at a paltry 2.6 MPH to almost 3.2 MPH to keep my heart rate up. I've been eating better. Yes, I did indulge in "helping" the kids out with their substantial Halloween haul, but since Husband put it up so high in the cabinets that I need a chair to retrieve it (damn all 6'3" of him), I've been laying off. Seriously, having to exert physical effort to steal Halloween candy from your kids? Pathetic.

ANYWAY, the point is that I pulled out a pair of pants this morning that have been a bit snug for the past year or so, and viola! they fit great. They aren't quite where they should be to fit perfectly, but I'm no longer praying to the gods of thread strength that they hold together. I'm comfortable in them. Hooray!

The irrational part is that I refuse to get on the scale to see if this is just a matter of toning, or whether I have actually lost some weight. I'm down a cup size on my bras as well, but that could be attributed primarily to the fact that for the first time in four plus years I'm not pregnant or nursing. The last time we nursed was late June-while I still have an occasional drip once in a while, it is pretty much all gone. The scale is an object of scorn and desire all at once. I could get on it and have the highlight of my day; or, I could get on it and feel like a complete failure, even with the pants victory. And then I would do something to completely sabatoge myself. I've been through the cycle enough to know exactly what I'll do. Sad, but true.

I'm in a good rhythm now, and I think that I'm going to stay there. Maybe I'll check once these pants start getting a little loose. Yeah, that's it.......

Step one

I finally got up the courage/lost my will to avoid the scheduler at my endocrinology clinic and went in. Yuck. Got the weight lecture. Yes, I get it. (But just for the record, my fasting morning sugars were at 89, and the cut off is 100. So there. I probably won't be as smug about the lipd panel, but we'll cross that bridge later.) Yes, I've been getting it all of my life. Blech. Of course I did this on Halloween, so what do I do? Rebel in some stupid way and let loose on all of the candy that we won't be giving out.

That said, I finally got a little bit of sleep this weekend, so I wasn't ready to curl up and die around the kids' bedtime. I threw in a load of laundry, put on my shoes, and on the treadmill I went. Considering that we've had it for almost three weeks and this is the first time that I've used it, I suppose that it isn't that big of a deal, but it felt good to finally sweat again and actually enjoy it. We splurged and got the one with the wireless heart rate band, which is supposed to be a lot more accurate than the grips, and not half as irritating. Husband found a small flat screen on a open box special at local big box electronics, and has that mounted right in front of the treadmill, so that's good too. At least it was one good purchase out of my bonus money.

Final stats for the night-35 minutes, a hair under two miles, and about 290 calories. Yeah me!