Does metformin make you delusional?

Seriously...I need to know.

So here's the background. After falling off the met wagon about a month ago, I decided that darn it, it CAN help you get rid of this entire other person that you're hauling around, so take it already! I'm up to 1500 mgs at this point, which is even better than I used to do during the infertility days. I've been paying for my rather rapid ramp, but I'm almost through the woods on that, so I just need to suck it up a couple of more days. I'm ultimately supposed to hit 2000mgs of the stuff, which I hope to be able to handle in a couple of weeks.

OK, so the delusional part. Granted, I've been hitting the treadmill on a very regular basis in the mornings, and have even added in some upper body work (treadmill push ups, but hey, its something). I've been upping the pace from where I started at a paltry 2.6 MPH to almost 3.2 MPH to keep my heart rate up. I've been eating better. Yes, I did indulge in "helping" the kids out with their substantial Halloween haul, but since Husband put it up so high in the cabinets that I need a chair to retrieve it (damn all 6'3" of him), I've been laying off. Seriously, having to exert physical effort to steal Halloween candy from your kids? Pathetic.

ANYWAY, the point is that I pulled out a pair of pants this morning that have been a bit snug for the past year or so, and viola! they fit great. They aren't quite where they should be to fit perfectly, but I'm no longer praying to the gods of thread strength that they hold together. I'm comfortable in them. Hooray!

The irrational part is that I refuse to get on the scale to see if this is just a matter of toning, or whether I have actually lost some weight. I'm down a cup size on my bras as well, but that could be attributed primarily to the fact that for the first time in four plus years I'm not pregnant or nursing. The last time we nursed was late June-while I still have an occasional drip once in a while, it is pretty much all gone. The scale is an object of scorn and desire all at once. I could get on it and have the highlight of my day; or, I could get on it and feel like a complete failure, even with the pants victory. And then I would do something to completely sabatoge myself. I've been through the cycle enough to know exactly what I'll do. Sad, but true.

I'm in a good rhythm now, and I think that I'm going to stay there. Maybe I'll check once these pants start getting a little loose. Yeah, that's it.......

Right around $400/use...

...on my treadmill. You know, the one that I bought last fall with aspirations of smaller sizes and no more excuses? Yes, that one. For some reason, it finally clicked that maybe a little physical activity would get rid of some of this funky cloud that has been floating over my head for a while. And, if it would help to allow me to begin to include myself in family photos again, all the better.

Well, I have to say, those expert people may be on to something. I've been attempting, not always successfully, but still trying, to do something at least a couple of nights a week. That "something" is either the treadmill or our Wii Fit that Husband got me for Christmas (best.present.ever that wasn't jewelry). I was so damn sore from the Wii last week that I decided that maybe something a bit more gentle with sustained heart rate would be a bit better, hence the treadmill the past couple of days. So far so good. I've slept better, and I have to admit, I've always loved a good workout. You would never be able to tell from looking at me now, but at one point, I was an honest to God athlete. Honest! I've also found that I tend to be a bit more focused at work the next day-I don't know if it is because even though I'm not getting a full eight hours every night, what I AM getting is better quality, or that I've burned off some of those toxic hormones. Regardless, this is one habit that I may enjoy picking up. Now I just have to dump the chocolate chips straight out of the bag habit....

The silly thing that seems to be motivating me (other than the absolutely heinous family Christmas picture?) is that there is pretty good TV on at around 9PM, so I can do double duty-wind down and watch whatever I want on basic cable. Husband even found a nice 19" LCD TV with an integrated DVD player to mount in front of the treadmill, and hooked up some spare speakers. I don't think a realtor would count my little space in the unfinished part of the basement an exercise room, but it seems to be working. The cats get up on their perches and offer commentary as well, so I don't feel too isolated down there. Drac even walked with me for a while!

So, if I look at it from a purely financial point of view, if I keep my act together for at least a couple of months, I might be able to whittle down my per use cost to the double digits. Yep, that's me-fiscally responsible!